


When the Light Touches the Darkness

by VidalinaV



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 17:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11318301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VidalinaV/pseuds/VidalinaV
Summary: They were sitting by the fire, staving off the cold that hurtled towards them. The crackling comforting her, even if the flame only reminded her of how close she had been. To happiness, to love, to a family. It had slipped right through her fingertips.No one made a sound, no one dared breathe louder than the crickets in the calm of night. Not while, Aelin was still resting in her tent, Rowan eternally by her side. Not while tomorrow was a mountain no one wanted to climb.





	When the Light Touches the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I have this headcanon that Perranth is really colorful and has a lot of festivities, and is just beautiful and happy. 
> 
> Also I always thought that Elide would be able to use the yielding so that’s what this is.

They were sitting by the fire, staving off the cold that hurtled towards them. The crackling comforting her, even if the flame only reminded her of how close she had been. To happiness, to love, to a family. It had slipped right through her fingertips.  

No one made a sound, no one dared breathe louder than the crickets in the calm of night. Not while, Aelin was still resting in her tent, Rowan eternally by her side. Not while tomorrow was a mountain no one wanted to climb.  

The world was still, holding its breath for the inevitable. It was more hopeful than she could have been, it couldn’t feel the oblivion creeping on the edge of the universe. Tomorrow the world would continue, though all of them might not. The birds would sing, the wind would dance, the sun would shine as if they had never existed at all. As if they had never mattered to begin with.  

Elide had tried not to think those terrible thoughts. She had tried to remind herself that she was still breathing, the people she loved were still breathing. But it was hard to be hopeful, when it didn’t matter either way. Tomorrow they would win or lose, and though they might win in the end, all of them would lose something.  

Maybe it was her pain that he sensed, shooting lightning bolts to the beat of his heart. Elide had asked him to stay away, but she doubted he ever could.

He walked towards her, saddened, guilty, and ashamed, but she had felt that way her whole life. Someone else had to feel her sorrow.

“Elide…” He stared, but she stopped him before he could finish.

His face was solemn as she gazed at him, usually so strong and sensible. The face she fell for, the face she wanted to wake up next to. Just gazing into his eyes made the fire rage.

“No, Lorcan.”  _Never again._

Elide shook her head at his silent plea. She had been on the edge for many years, always teetering between hope and loss. The little she had left was kept in the confines of her heart, safely kept away for those who needed some of their own. Elide could spare no more.

“Perranth will be colorful again.” She promised.  _With or without you._

Elide didn’t look at him as she got up from her seat, to go far away from the idea she could no longer dream of.

“Even if I die before I get to see it.”

She walked away before he could hear her, said it so silently even she had trouble hearing it, but Elide was sure he had heard.

Her words were the only blanket left to cover her.

* * *

 

Somewhere, in a new world all her own, Elide would have been able to see the stars in the middle of the day. They would have laugh at her, while she danced beneath them. She would not have cared one bit at their mockery. The mountains would have shamed her, for her debauchery and her insolence, and Elide would have screamed to those mountains that she was alive. She wasn’t going anywhere.

In another world, she wouldn’t have cared that she was too small, too shy, and too powerless to become anyone of importance. She wouldn’t have cared about importance at all. Elide would have breathed in the air, soft as petals, would have cried only for the sake of freedom. There would have been no pain, no ruthless endeavors. There would have only been love and a strong need to feel it.

Elide would have loved.

But, her fingers clenched so tightly her nails dug into her palm, and the blood was dripping from her fists. It flowed into a pool of dark, staining burgundy- from soldiers or monsters, no one could tell anymore. They littered the floor like the ashes falling from the bluggering sky, weeping for her lost and forgotten children. A mere nothingness to her eternal existence.

Because this was not Elide’s world, and she was not powerful. She was not anything but scared.

Elide looked at the world, at Manon every bit as fierce as a untamed lioness, at Abraxos who looked like he could fall from one more blow but still kept fighting. She looked at Aelin, fire by her fists, fire in her heart, but a cold world all around her. She looked at Rowan, who fought teeth and nail to protect his love- his family. At last she looked at him, and he looked at her.  

Maybe she wasn’t supposed to see someone she loved, maybe she was only supposed to feel hate. She couldn’t feel anything anymore. Like the wind had knocked out of her, like the stars had ceased to shine, like the cries she heard were from the very pit of her soul.

Elide didn’t expect the world to be so dim, so shallow,  _so dark._

The stark realization hit her so blindly, she could barely see. When she was little she used to hide in the closet, so the darkness wouldn’t find her. There was nowhere to hide anymore.

“I just want there to be light again.” She whispered. Beyond the screams, the groans, the clashing of swords, she whispered her dreams to the sky, to anyone who would listen.

“I just want there to be light again!” She screamed.

Lorcan tried to run to her, tried to stop something he could not control. She may not have been made of flames, but she was ever burning. There was no end, no beginning, only darkness, and she wanted to see.  

Elide walked. Past body, past life, past soldier and enemy, all the same after they had died, a wick of a candle blown away- blown to dust. She walked to the edge of a great big world of angels and demons, of beauty and terror, of love and hate. Two sides of the same coin, a game only fate and luck and chance could win.

And when she turned and saw tears, from those who fought and those laid dying, she understood what love meant, what it had always meant to her. Her mother had known this, had felt it in that very moment.

Elide glanced at no one in particular, and everyone all at once. She stopped only when she reached the harsh lines of her queen’s face and the sweat that dripped from her brows.

“Make Perranth colorful again.”

Aelin only nodded her head as the tears began to stream. Maybe they were on her face as well, she couldn’t tell. Her gaze fixed on Lorcan, strong and mighty, even if this was the worst she had ever seen him. She smiled, a little sad, a little hopeful, a little bit of the sweetness left inside of her.

“I love you.”

His eyes were shining, and she could feel his need to stop her and run far away, like he always wanted to, like he tried. There was no running from the truth- where she always thought there would be darkness, there was light inside of her. It was the last and only thing she could offer her glorious family.

Elide may not have been born with magic, had not been strong or talented like her cousins, but she was born with a love so mighty she swore it could move mountains. That was enough.  _It had to be enough._

“No, please no.” Even as he whispered, it was the loudest scream she’d ever heard.

She stepped backwards, glimpsing their war-torned faces filled with grief and sorrow. They would be happy in the end, she would make sure of it.

Using the magic her mother gave her and the only power her father left her, Elide gave to the world what she could not give to her friends. Her complete and utter love.

She stepped off the ledge and watched as her friends shielded themselves. Protected and safe, Elide always wanted them to be safe. They would have a life time together; she’d always watch over them. She’d never have to worry again.  

The well of magic opened and the heavy darkness consumed her, she felt the warmth spread through her body. She felt the acceptance through it all, the truth that the world was good and she had been a part of it.

The warmth grew hotter and hotter, comforting even when her soul began to ache. Ripped to shreds with the last bits of her memory and her peace.  _Her parents would have been proud of her._ Maybe in another world, she’d get to see them.

She had always been afraid of the dark, always yearned for the sun when it was much too far away. The darkness hugged her close, but she could hear laughter in the distance, sweet, sweet laughter.

The light was the last thing she’d see.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been in a crappy mood so someone had to die. Sorry, sort of.


End file.
